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John Oliver Says If You Want to Irritate Donald Trump, Fill Out the 2020 Census

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For the final episode of Last Week Tonight of the year, John Oliver turns his attention to the census. “[It’s] the only reason to open the door for a stranger, unless he tells you he has candy in his van,“ Oliver says, asking: “What if he has fudge?”

The concept of the census is simple — a comprehensive count of every single person living in the United States, to plan for things like roads, schools, and emergency services. However, counting every single person is even harder than it might seem, which is why typically the government opens 250 regional offices and hires millions of temporary workers in order to reach out to 140 million households.

Adding to the difficulty is that, according to Oliver, nobody likes filling out surveys — and when the government asks questions, people get suspicious. Census data helps determine Congressional representation and used as a basis to distribute federal funds and businesses use census data to decide where to open new branches. The census was considered so critical to the founding fathers that it’s the sixth sentence in the U.S. Constitution.

“Freedom of speech didn’t even make it in there at all,” Oliver notes. “They had to tack that on with the 18th century equivalent of a Post-It Note.”

Despite that important function, Congress has reportedly underfunded the census and, according to Oliver, the 2020 census is shaping up to be more complicated than usual due to budget shortfalls and active Republican meddling, including attempting to add a citizenship question that alienated many people. While the question of citizenship will not be on the census, per Oliver, the damage may already be done and experts worry that an undercount is inevitable. So Oliver decided to help spread the word that filling out the census is a good way to help your community and yourself.

If that isn’t enough to get people interested in filling out the census survey, Oliver has one more idea sure to appeal to his audience: Filling out the census would probably really irritate Donald Trump. “This administration clearly thinks that some people don’t count,” Oliver says. “So there’s no better way to get back at [Trump] than to make sure that you do and make sure the census counts you.”

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82-Year-Old Woman Carrying Groceries Fatally Struck By Vehicle In Hit-And-Run In Northeast Philadelphia – CBS Philly

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Doncic’s triple-double To Much For The Pistons In Mexico – CBS Detroit

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Luka Doncic’s Spanish was flawless. His game was pretty good, too.

Doncic scored 41 points and posted his eighth triple-double of the season, Seth Curry added a season-high 30 points off the bench and the Dallas Mavericks topped the Detroit Pistons 122-111 on Thursday night in the opener of the NBA Mexico Games.

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – DECEMBER 12: Luka Doncic #77 of the Dallas Mavericks celebrates after scoring a three-point shot during a game between Dallas Mavericks and Detroit Pistons at Arena Ciudad de Mexico on December 12, 2019 in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Hector Vivas/Getty Images)

Doncic finished with 12 rebounds and 11 assists for the Mavericks, who at 17-7 are off to their best 24-game start since posting the same mark at this point of the 2014-15 season.

“He picked us apart,” Pistons coach Dwane Casey said.

Curry scored 18 points in the second quarter alone for Dallas. The Mavericks trailed by seven late in the first half, then went on a 14-0 run before intermission and eventually led by as many as 24.

Curry became the first Dallas reserve to score 30 off the bench since Jason Terry had 34 against San Antonio on Jan. 29, 2012.

“Even when Detroit was playing zone, our guys were making an effort to drive-and-kick, drive-and-kick and find Seth ultimately for the shot,” Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle said. “Real happy for him. He did everything. He drove it. He shot it. He made a couple good plays on the breaks. He made a couple good passes. He was a huge contributor tonight.”

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – DECEMBER 12: Luka Doncic #77 of the Dallas Mavericks celebrates with teammates during a game between Dallas Mavericks and Detroit Pistons at Arena Ciudad de Mexico on December 12, 2019, in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Hector Vivas/Getty Images)

Doncic’s eight triple-doubles already match his total from last season. Kristaps Porzingis added 20 points for the Mavericks, who outrebounded Detroit 52-34.

“I think we’re getting better and better every day,” Doncic said. “He’s going to get better. I’m going to get better. And with us two, the team is going to get way better.”

Andre Drummond led the Pistons with 23 points and 15 rebounds. Derrick Rose scored 19 points, and Markieff Morris added 16 for Detroit, which got 12 from Tony Snell and 10 apiece from Christian Wood and Blake Griffin.

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – DECEMBER 12: Andre Drummond #0 of the Detroit Pistons shots the ball during a game between Dallas Mavericks and Detroit Pistons at Arena Ciudad de Mexico on December 12, 2019, in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Hector Vivas/Getty Images)

“Back to the drawing board,” Casey said. “Dallas is a great team. Rick’s done a heck of a job with that team. But we missed a lot of shots that we normally make. And then defensively, I thought we missed a lot of rotations.”

It was the 29th game in Mexico since 1992, the most of any country other than the U.S. or Canada in that span and came on a night where the NBA announced that Capitanes — a Mexico City-based team in that country’s top pro league — will be joining the G League starting next season.

“Playing out here was incredible,” Drummond said. “The atmosphere was outstanding.”

Doncic addressed the Mexico City crowd pregame — to their delight — in flawless Spanish, before turning the microphone over to Griffin. “Hola, Mexico,” was the extent of Griffin’s Spanish offering, as he grinned and a very amused Doncic looked on standing a few feet away.

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – DECEMBER 12: Luka Doncic #77 of the Dallas Mavericks and Blake Griffin #23 of the Detroit Pistons during a game between Dallas Mavericks and Detroit Pistons at Arena Ciudad de Mexico on December 12, 2019, in Mexico City, Mexico. (Photo by Hector Vivas/Getty Images)

The night didn’t get much easier for Griffin from there: He shot just 3 for 16, and 1 for 10 from 3-point range.

Doncic, meanwhile, went on to post his second 40-point triple-double of the season. He’s the first player in NBA history to have multiple 40-point triple-doubles before turning 21; he doesn’t celebrate that birthday until Feb. 28.

TIP-INS

Mavericks: It was the third time Dallas played a regular-season game outside of the U.S. or Canada — the Mavs played Houston in 1997-98 and Phoenix in 2016-17, both in Mexico City. … NBA Commissioner Adam Silver misspoke before the game at a news conference, introducing deputy commissioner Mark Tatum as “Mark Cuban” — the Mavs’ owner.

Pistons: Before Thursday, Detroit’s only other regular-season game outside of the U.S. or Canada was Jan. 17, 2013 — a loss to New York in London. … This was only Detroit’s second chance at a three-game winning streak so far this season. The Pistons had won two straight before losing to Milwaukee on Dec. 4, and had won two straight again before Thursday.

AVOCADO WOES

Drummond was a game-time decision because the Pistons said he had an allergic reaction to an avocado. He had swelling around his eyes Wednesday, but played as planned.

SECOND GAME

San Antonio plays Phoenix in Mexico City on Saturday. It’ll count as a home game for the Suns. This is the first time that the NBA has brought four teams to the Mexico games.

UP NEXT

Mavericks: Host Miami on Saturday.

Pistons: Visit Houston on Saturday.

© 2019 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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Napa Bar Fight Ends In Gunfire; Two Wounded – CBS San Francisco

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