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Cash-Strapped Men’s Wearhouse Now Offering Free Measurements Of Whatever The Hell You Want

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FREMONT, CA—In an effort to increase foot traffic at their 1,667 locations nationwide, struggling retailer Men’s Wearhouse announced Tuesday that, effective immediately, they would provide free measurements of whatever the hell customers wanted. “We’ve trained our associates to go beyond sleeves and inseams to measure just about anything, from the distance between Milwaukee and Chicago to the density of sedimentary rocks,” said CEO Dinesh Lathi, noting that the retailer would also arrange house calls to help measure anything from square footage of a domicile to hectares of land to “even freshly caught trout, in case you want to see if you’ve broken any angling records.” “Naturally we’re still offering free chest and waist measurements, but we hope to boost sales by measuring any place on your body, someone else’s body, planetary bodies, or even imaginary or theoretical bodies. Any object qualifies; let us know what you have, whether it’s a pine 2-by-4 or an 8.5-by-11-inch sheet of copier paper. If you’ve got a prize-winning pumpkin, we’d be happy to confirm that and fit it for a three-piece suit while we’re at it. While it’s true online shopping has hit sales pretty hard, we’re still measurement leaders, and if this pans out, we might transition into an all-measurement-based company.” Lathi also stressed that the Men’s Wearhouse would still not provide garment measurements for women.

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Man with history of cheating is caught on ‘hook-up’ sites – Twin Cities

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DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband of 18 years has been going to “hook-up” websites. He says he was just looking at the pictures, but I don’t believe him. I have caught him cheating twice in the past, so it’s hard to trust him.

My problem is, he knows I can’t leave him because I have no job, no skills, no money — nothing. I went right from my parents’ house to living with him after our wedding. We have six kids and one on the way. He will continue to go to these websites because he knows I am stuck. What should I do? — SOON-TO-BE MOTHER OF SEVEN

DEAR SOON-TO-BE MOTHER OF SEVEN: The first thing you should do is see your doctor and be checked for STDs. If you are well, thank your higher power. If you aren’t, get treatment, get well and talk to a lawyer. Your situation may not be as hopeless as you think.    Have you any relatives or friends you can stay with when you leave, change your life and become self-supporting? It may require job training and time, but please consider it.

I doubt your husband will have much time for philandering if he has six kids to take care of by himself in addition to his job. I also doubt that few, if any, women he might be hooking up with would welcome becoming the instant mother of six. And one more thing, from now on, please use birth control.

 

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for 30 years. During this time, my ex-wife has rarely spoken to me, and in the last 10 years said not one word to me. There have been many occasions and events at my son’s home to celebrate my granddaughter’s birthday, etc. My ex and many other people attend, but basically, no one speaks to me. I am totally ignored.

I have a strong hunch that during the divorce my ex told people I hit or abused her. (Not true!) She told my sister something to this effect. I believe it was a ploy to distract from the fact she had been cheating on me. Regardless, this situation is extremely hurtful and unpleasant. Any ideas how to deal with this? — OSTRACIZED AND PARALYZED

DEAR O. & P.: Have you tried to initiate a conversation? Have you asked these people why they give you the silent treatment? They’re fair questions.

After 30 years, it is a little late to correct the mindset your ex may have caused these relatives to have about you. But if at this late date you try to spread the word that she was cheating, it will accomplish nothing positive, and I don’t advise it.

P.S. If the silence continues, then I recommend you bring someone — a friend or a date — with you to these gatherings. At least you will have someone to talk to.

 

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Furries to the rescue: Costumed conventioneers save woman from assault in San Jose

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SAN JOSE, Calif. — A dinosaur, a tiger and a cowboy came to the rescue of a woman who was being beaten by her boyfriend in a car in San Jose.

The trio of costumed characters were attending a furry convention, a gathering of people who are fans of animal characters and often dress like them.

A car pulled up to the curb and it appeared a man was beating the female driver, according to witnesses. Several furry convention attendees in costume rushed the car, dragged the man out and restrained him until police arrived.

The suspect was later identified as 22-year-old Demetri Hardnett, and he is accused of assaulting his girlfriend in the car. Hardnett was arrested and booked into Santa Clara County Jail for domestic violence, CNN reported.

The furries were attending the Further Confusion convention, also known as FurCon, held in San Jose this past weekend. A convention schedule indicates events included a furry boxing workout, dance programs, an escape room and a discussion of transhumanism in works of fiction.

“Furries pulling together to stop an abuser last night was absolutely WILD,” tweeted the person who recorded the video of the rescue.

Copyright © 2020 KABC-TV. All Rights Reserved.



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Mexican chicken chili a great dinner for two

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This is an intriguing one-pot chili made the Mexican way — with cinnamon. It’s perfect for two or a crowd. Some like it hot, some not, but everyone loves chili. This recipe is mildly hot. Serve hot pepper sauce on the side for those who want to adjust the heat. I find the use of cooked chicken pieces in place of ground beef produces a lighter dish that’s nice for a change.

The chicken marinates for a few minutes in cinnamon with a little vinegar. I first noticed the use of cinnamon in Mexican cooking when I saw a friend add some to the meat she was preparing for her chili.

MEXICAN CHICKEN CHILI

½ lb. roasted chicken breast (skin removed)

2 t. white vinegar

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. canola oil

1 c. frozen chopped onion

1 t. minced garlic

¾ c. rinsed and drained reduced-sodium canned red kidney beans

2 c. reduced-sodium canned whole tomatoes, with juice

½ T. chili powder

1 t. ground cumin

Salt and fresh ground black pepper

For garnish:

¼ c. reduced-fat sour cream

½ c. fresh cilantro, chopped

2 T. shredded reduced-fat Mexican-style cheese

Cut chicken into bite-size pieces (about ½-inch cubes). Place in a bowl and sprinkle with the vinegar and cinnamon. Stir to make sure all cubes are coated with cinnamon.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a medium-size saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onions and garlic and saute about 1 to 2 minutes. They should not be brown. Add the kidney beans, tomatoes, chili powder and cumin. Break up the tomatoes with a spoon. Lower heat to medium and simmer gently 15 minutes. Add the chicken and simmer 5 more minutes. Stir to combine. Add salt and pepper and taste for seasoning. Add more chili powder or cumin as needed.

Place sour cream, cilantro and cheese in condiment bowls and serve the chili, passing the bowls.

TORTILLA SALAD

½ c. frozen corn kernels, defrosted

4 c. shredded, washed-ready-to-eat iceberg lettuce

1½ T. reduced-fat vinaigrette dressing

2 c. reduced-fat tortilla chips (2 oz.)

Toss corn and lettuce in a medium-size bowl with the dressing. Sprinkle with tortilla chips and serve.

— Tribune News Service

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